Miss D was referred to me by her mom, an avid exercise enthusiast. Miss D, however, was not so enthusiastic about exercise.
Before meeting Miss D, her mom cautioned me that she may seem a bit detached or cold. That I should not take that disposition personally, and that it was more of an aversion to exercise.
When I met Miss D for the first time, she did seem a bit detached. We started chatting and after a few pleasantries I simply said: "Rumour has it that you're not an exercise fan."
"Yup!" she replied.
I continued: "Would it be okay if I asked you why? It's okay if you don't want to answer me, we just met. It's just that I might be more helpful if I have more information."
As if I had found just the right pressure valve, she uncrossed her arms, relaxed in her face and said: "Because every time I exercise, my knee hurts and I feel like I'm going to throw up! And then when I say that, I'm just told to keep going."
Ah, got it. You don't dislike exercise. You dislike unnecessary joint pain and publicized nausea, and can't understand how either of those could possibly be good or healthy.
"Okay, I totally understand. Let's play 'What If'. What if I told you that when we exercise that I will never make you nauseous - at least not on purpose - and if that happens we will absolutely stop. And, if your knee hurts, then we will modify the exercise or change it entirely, and I might even have some tools to help make that knee pain go away for good. How does that sound?"
That one conversation transformed exercise for Miss D and her attitude towards it.
How does that sound to you?